The Amish & The Elevator

A fifteen year old Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.


The boy asked, 'What is this Father?' The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, 'Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is.'

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button.

The walls opened, and the lady rolled between them into a

small room. The walls closed, and the boy and his father watched the small numbers above the walls light up sequentially.

They continued to watch until it reached the last number, and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order.

Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blond stepped out. The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son.....

'Go get your mother'.

Blind Man At Restaurant

A blind man walks into a restaurant and sat down. The waiter, who is also the owner, hands him a menu.

"I'm sorry, Sir, but I am blind and can't read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer, I'll smell it and order from there."

A little curious, the owner walks over to a dirty pile and picks up a greasy fork.

He returns to the blind man's table and hands it to him.

The blind man puts the fork to his nose and takes in a deep breath. "Ah, yes, that's what I'll have, meatloaf and mashed potatoes.."

"Unbelievable!" in the kitchen, the owner exclaims to his wife Theresa, who is also the cook, and tells her what had just happened.

A few days later the blind man returns, and the owner brings him a menu.

"Sir, remember me? I'm the blind man."

"I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you. I'll go get you a dirty fork." The owner again retrieves a dirty fork and brings it to the blind man.

After another deep breath, the blind man says, "That smells great, I'll take the macaroni and cheese with broccoli."

In disbelief, the owner tells his wife Theresa that the next time the blind man comes in he's going to test him.


The blind returns the following week, but this time the owner sees him coming and runs to the kitchen..

He tells his wife, "Theresa, rub this fork on your panties before I take it to the blind man."

Theresa does it and hands her husband the fork.

As the blind man sits down, the owner is ready. "Good afternoon sir, this time I remembered you and I already have the fork ready for you."

The blind man puts the fork to his nose, takes a deep whiff and says, "Hey, I didn't know that Theresa works her !!"